Hey guys
What up? Quite a bit going on here! I'm packing for my weekend trip to Jaisalmer. It's an overnight train that will take about 12 hours. This is actually going to be my first time on a train so i'm kind of excited :) Jaisalmer is in the desert, really close to Pakistan. Please pray for us to be safe. We're going on a camel safari halloween night and sleeping out in the desert, which i am so excited for!
Today i saw some elephants on the road for the first time. They are so my favorite animal now :) They had painted faces and stuff.
I have completely been won over by the Indian head bob. I do it all the time now. That will be a hard habit to break! :)
This week was my first week of working alone in my school. I am really tired and a bit worn out, but i think that's partly just natural because i've been here for 2 weeks now and the adrenaline is wearing off. The kids are really wild and i have a big class-20 kids. Most are 2-3 yrs old and can't do anything and there are about 4 kids who have the capacity to learn and are willing to learn. the ones in between are old enough, but just too naughty. I have a translator, Gopal, who s teaching with me. We've started splitting the kids into 2 groups-those who can learn and those who can't-and he teaches one group while i teach the other. It works prety well, but it means that i can't understand what the kids are saying and they can only understand a couple words that i say. i know sit, write, thank you, and no haha that's about it. it's very frusterating sometimes, but i always have chances everyday to show them a little bit of God's love. Like the first day, little Sopa (actually i think her name might be Shopa) came up to me and hung on my leg so i picked her up and she touched my face that way that babies do, and then she laid her head on my shoulder and i rocked her to sleep. Later on, i was thinking about it and i don't know if you remember but in an earlier post when i talked about who woud actually care for these children, one of the things i said was "who will rock little sopa to sleep?" God provided :) I was pretty psyched when i realized that.
I really, REALLY miss Christians. I took having other believers around all the time for granted. It's just so hard sometimes! i am submerged in a place where everyone around me has a different kind of lifestyle, and different beilefs. Not just the Indians, but the people i live with too. I love them all, but it's so good to talk to people who believe what you beilieve. Like, i see God in everything. In a beautiful day, in "coincidences" i believe to be God's favor, in healing, etc. and usually i can voice this-usually i can praise God by talking to other people about it. And every week i loved going to church and going to EvenSong for worship with my friends, and praying with people when they needed it or i needed it. It's great that i'm here with people who beileve different things because i can be a light in darkness-i've already had a few conversations with other voluneteers about God-but i feel like i'm givnig out without getting back much "soul food". instead it's like always being on defense. I can find solace in my Bible, but it's different than talking to people and looking at their faces and i don't know how to explain it but it's just something i miss. The ambience is different. I am willing to do this and i'm glad God put me here and i know it's right, but it's very hard. I just want to have a nice conversation with a fellow disciple and a hug :) since that probably won't happen unless one of you flies out here, how about you guys tell me anything you've learned or heard lately-a devotion or something interesting from a sermon or maybe just something new you just realized about your faith? I'm really spiritually hungry right now :) The more, the merrier! Thank you! and i am so grateful to have all of you in my life! You are wonderful. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such strong, faithful, good people. I miss you tons! But it's good here too. Don't think i feel regretful for being here or sad; i just need some fuel :) Thank you for your prayers-i have had so many little miracles everyday i couldn't deny that there was a God if i tried, or that prayers work. Love you guys, and talk to you again soon!
Cassie
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Pushkar was awesome
Wow! i have so much to write about! First of all, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ALIVIA!!!!! I love you monkey biscuit and you were the first thing on my mind on the morning of October 24th! :) I can't believe you are a big 4 year old already! Livy baby, you are so sweet (to me, at least) and i love watching you run through your life without any fear (like when you jump off the stairs without telling me, expecting me to catch you anyways). I hope you had a wonferful birthday, and when i get back we're gonna play some sweet Polly Pockets-you be Dida and i be Breakah ;)
And Happy 20th Bday to Brittany!! woot woot. Al Monet de Leche forever girl :) :) :)
Do you ever wake up in the morning and it takes you a sec to remember where you are? Saturday morning i woke up to Indian voices and a bare Indian foot inches from my face. I saw a worn white ledge and a colorful pillow with camels on it. I heard peacocks, cows, camels, people, music, and dogs. Oh Yea, how could i forget? I'm on a volunteer's friend's rooftop in the desert valley Pushkar, on a farm. The stars were insane sweet! We even saw the milky way! it was pretty cold, and a random dog came and slept with us for awhile, but i think those just added flavor to the adventure :) Pushkar is a beautiful city! Lots of old buildings that are painted mouth-watering colors like sky blue and sherbert orange. The people were mostly very friendly, although they were used to tourists so a lot of them could be pretty sneaky (i had to pry my hand away from a woman who was going to force me to get henna so she could charge me a ridic amount of money). My favorite part of the weekend was going to the camel area on the outskirts of the town. There were HUNDREDS of camels-probably thousands! and groups of old men in turbans and white outfits sat around. Outside the town it becomes even more desert-like. it was all sand and stone with mountains around, and REALLY hot. Especially with all our clothes. And the smell of India is so heavy, it feels like yet another layer of clothing. But you get over it, and i guess it's better than being surrounded by a bunch of dirty snowdrifts! :) So we walked around looking at camels and i asked a guy if i could take his picture. Then all these other camel guys wanted their picture taken as well. It ended up that there were a big group of them all together smiling for our cameras, and then us girls had to take turns sitting with them because they wanted to have a pic with us. :) very fun. I just plopped right down on their dusty blanket and smiled while an ancient National Geographic style man slung his arm over my shoulder. that's one for the books i'd say?
I think i may end up having a bit of a european accent when i get back-most the volunteers are european :) today we were in a restaurant and a couple from arkansas started talking to us and when i said i was from MI, they said "we thought you were from Great Britain!" I'll prolly come back demading Nutella on my toast and ordering "chips" at McDonalds on take-away.
So, all jokes aside, i love India. I really do. But i am kind of struggling with staying focused on my purpose here. I came here for a completely selfless reason-God wanted me to come so i put my other plans aside and came-but i feel like it's turning into selfishness. I find myself doing things because i want to do them. I'm starting to act like this is a vacation-I've reached a point where i'm safely in a comfort zone and not being pushed anymore. It's not bad for me to enjoy what i'm doing, but not like this somehow. Going on trips and going shopping with volunteers...my main focus isn't on the people of India and what i can give them. It's becoming what i can get from India. I want to give all i have for God's plan, not this lolly-gagging business. Maybe it's a lack of courage? i don't know. But please pray for me to get out of this standstill.
I think part of the problem was that i spent all that time being pushed and growing leading up to coming here. It took so much trust and faith in God, and the travels over here even more. And now i'm here, and i have to make that transition into putting the pplan in action, and i don't know how so i'm stalling. What good is my loving them going to do anyways? How could that be all i need to do? People are people, loved or not. Loved people still need to eat. Loved people still need to defend themselves. But then i hear that voice inside say, "whose love are you talking about? Yours can't provde those things, but Mine can. It does everyday for you." and then i think "well, then You do it! How am i supposed to give Your love when all i have is mine to give? i can't give someone else's love" and then "You are a vessel. I fill you up with My love when you give Me all of yours. Then all you have left to give is Mine." Wow. it makes perfect sense. God is so good, all the time. He has never once fallen short, He has never once withheld anything from the moment He told me to come here. He has kept His end of the bargain completely, even as i fail to always keep mine. I am so frustrated sometimes with being a weak, sinful human being! But i guess it's good that I am, because it drives me closer to Him, who makes me holy and strong. That's all for now other people want to use the computer, but i'll keep you guys updated. Keep me in check to make sure i'm staying on task please :) and thank you all for reading this and sending me all the comments on here and facebook and stuff. It makes my day reading them :) Love you and God bless,
Cassie
And Happy 20th Bday to Brittany!! woot woot. Al Monet de Leche forever girl :) :) :)
Do you ever wake up in the morning and it takes you a sec to remember where you are? Saturday morning i woke up to Indian voices and a bare Indian foot inches from my face. I saw a worn white ledge and a colorful pillow with camels on it. I heard peacocks, cows, camels, people, music, and dogs. Oh Yea, how could i forget? I'm on a volunteer's friend's rooftop in the desert valley Pushkar, on a farm. The stars were insane sweet! We even saw the milky way! it was pretty cold, and a random dog came and slept with us for awhile, but i think those just added flavor to the adventure :) Pushkar is a beautiful city! Lots of old buildings that are painted mouth-watering colors like sky blue and sherbert orange. The people were mostly very friendly, although they were used to tourists so a lot of them could be pretty sneaky (i had to pry my hand away from a woman who was going to force me to get henna so she could charge me a ridic amount of money). My favorite part of the weekend was going to the camel area on the outskirts of the town. There were HUNDREDS of camels-probably thousands! and groups of old men in turbans and white outfits sat around. Outside the town it becomes even more desert-like. it was all sand and stone with mountains around, and REALLY hot. Especially with all our clothes. And the smell of India is so heavy, it feels like yet another layer of clothing. But you get over it, and i guess it's better than being surrounded by a bunch of dirty snowdrifts! :) So we walked around looking at camels and i asked a guy if i could take his picture. Then all these other camel guys wanted their picture taken as well. It ended up that there were a big group of them all together smiling for our cameras, and then us girls had to take turns sitting with them because they wanted to have a pic with us. :) very fun. I just plopped right down on their dusty blanket and smiled while an ancient National Geographic style man slung his arm over my shoulder. that's one for the books i'd say?
I think i may end up having a bit of a european accent when i get back-most the volunteers are european :) today we were in a restaurant and a couple from arkansas started talking to us and when i said i was from MI, they said "we thought you were from Great Britain!" I'll prolly come back demading Nutella on my toast and ordering "chips" at McDonalds on take-away.
So, all jokes aside, i love India. I really do. But i am kind of struggling with staying focused on my purpose here. I came here for a completely selfless reason-God wanted me to come so i put my other plans aside and came-but i feel like it's turning into selfishness. I find myself doing things because i want to do them. I'm starting to act like this is a vacation-I've reached a point where i'm safely in a comfort zone and not being pushed anymore. It's not bad for me to enjoy what i'm doing, but not like this somehow. Going on trips and going shopping with volunteers...my main focus isn't on the people of India and what i can give them. It's becoming what i can get from India. I want to give all i have for God's plan, not this lolly-gagging business. Maybe it's a lack of courage? i don't know. But please pray for me to get out of this standstill.
I think part of the problem was that i spent all that time being pushed and growing leading up to coming here. It took so much trust and faith in God, and the travels over here even more. And now i'm here, and i have to make that transition into putting the pplan in action, and i don't know how so i'm stalling. What good is my loving them going to do anyways? How could that be all i need to do? People are people, loved or not. Loved people still need to eat. Loved people still need to defend themselves. But then i hear that voice inside say, "whose love are you talking about? Yours can't provde those things, but Mine can. It does everyday for you." and then i think "well, then You do it! How am i supposed to give Your love when all i have is mine to give? i can't give someone else's love" and then "You are a vessel. I fill you up with My love when you give Me all of yours. Then all you have left to give is Mine." Wow. it makes perfect sense. God is so good, all the time. He has never once fallen short, He has never once withheld anything from the moment He told me to come here. He has kept His end of the bargain completely, even as i fail to always keep mine. I am so frustrated sometimes with being a weak, sinful human being! But i guess it's good that I am, because it drives me closer to Him, who makes me holy and strong. That's all for now other people want to use the computer, but i'll keep you guys updated. Keep me in check to make sure i'm staying on task please :) and thank you all for reading this and sending me all the comments on here and facebook and stuff. It makes my day reading them :) Love you and God bless,
Cassie
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sorry about the delay
namaste :) how is everybody doing? sorry i haven't written this week-our comuter at the house is broken so today some of us girls went to the internet cafe. the computers are like, windows 98 and most the keys are worn off but we'll manage haha. sorry for any spelling errors :)
today i had my first "runs" experience after being constipated for 9 days...ugh. but i feel a bit better now. i had way too much indian food stuck in my little body :)
Let's see...what else...
I started work on wednesday. it's crazy! i thought i'd seen where Indian people live; I thought i'd seen the slums. But no sir i had no idea until i turned a corner and walked a kilometer and watched te buildings gradually dissappear and then a huge scrubby fenced in field with goats and children and FILLED with trash. Everything was so dusty and there were a bunch of ramshackle cement rooms that were houses. The women and children were very nice-smiling and saying hello and thankfully not begging for money (in the city you get practically attacked by beggars). The men are the same everywhere-always flirting haha. you get used to it. I met one of the IDE project coordinators, Shuchi and she is pretty much the coolest lady ever. She tells it how it is and something makes people listen to her, even though she's probably not even 5 ft tall. :)
There are 2 "schools" in the slums and i'm working in the newer, less established one. it's the worst of the worst. the lowest of the low. the dirtiest of the dirty. The class is sporatic-the kids are 1-12 yrs old (but many don't know how old they are) and come and go as they please. The school is a little cement room like the homes there. one window with no screen and a broken cement floor. We have some mice that run around and look at us with beady little eyes. The gov provided these schools with a teacher and a helper each, but these women don't really do anything with the children, besides beat them if theyre loud. they get paid gov salary and have the job forever, no matter how bad they are. this is why IDEX sent us here-they hope that we will motivate the teacher and helper and children. Volunteers usually end up teaching and making the lessons, and teachers occasionally help. they're nice to have around for translating because the kids don't know english. the volunteer who i was with at this school leaves today so after 2 days of watching her i'm on my own. teaching around 20 Hindi children English and math which they forget by the next day. I'm not going to get frustrated though. I keep being reminded by that still small voice inside "You are here to love". If they learn anything from me, i want them to learn that they are worth something-that they're a treasure. Their sweet smiles and their innocsence and their vivacity for life. AHHH!! who will watch over them? Who will keep little NaNa from prostititution? Who will rock Sopa to sleep? Who will help Pudja to learn things since she's always behind?
There is a bunch of information and ideas floating around in my head. I feel like i'm in a super intense world cultures class! There are so many issues that are tied up in customs and behaviors and traditions and yet it's still important that Indian heritage be preserved. Like prego women for example. Many muslim women beliee children are gifts, and so they have zero prevention. But all these children are born and they can't be provided for. At the same time that they want these women to take birth control and et abortions, they're trying to save their lies too. Like prego women here need tetnus shots because they have babies at home in insanitary conditions and the babies and mothers often die without it. 300 women die everyday in childbirth. If you bring abortions to india though, how would these women even afford it? that would bring in the ally-abortions then, causing more deaths. Condoms of course would be a good introduction here, but men ar very careless-i don't think they'd take the responsibility. So many things-the trash here (no public trashcans)...even the schools. bringing in english volunteers is great and all, but it means that the children are leanring about a country's seasons and customs that they don't beloing to. they need to survive HERE, first. ay yay yay. no more of this.
i'm leaving to pushkar this weekend to go to a camel festival so i won't be around until sunday. just wanted to warn you guys :) send me messages-i like to read about what's going on with you guys and what you think and alll that stuff! take care and God Bless!
Cassie
today i had my first "runs" experience after being constipated for 9 days...ugh. but i feel a bit better now. i had way too much indian food stuck in my little body :)
Let's see...what else...
I started work on wednesday. it's crazy! i thought i'd seen where Indian people live; I thought i'd seen the slums. But no sir i had no idea until i turned a corner and walked a kilometer and watched te buildings gradually dissappear and then a huge scrubby fenced in field with goats and children and FILLED with trash. Everything was so dusty and there were a bunch of ramshackle cement rooms that were houses. The women and children were very nice-smiling and saying hello and thankfully not begging for money (in the city you get practically attacked by beggars). The men are the same everywhere-always flirting haha. you get used to it. I met one of the IDE project coordinators, Shuchi and she is pretty much the coolest lady ever. She tells it how it is and something makes people listen to her, even though she's probably not even 5 ft tall. :)
There are 2 "schools" in the slums and i'm working in the newer, less established one. it's the worst of the worst. the lowest of the low. the dirtiest of the dirty. The class is sporatic-the kids are 1-12 yrs old (but many don't know how old they are) and come and go as they please. The school is a little cement room like the homes there. one window with no screen and a broken cement floor. We have some mice that run around and look at us with beady little eyes. The gov provided these schools with a teacher and a helper each, but these women don't really do anything with the children, besides beat them if theyre loud. they get paid gov salary and have the job forever, no matter how bad they are. this is why IDEX sent us here-they hope that we will motivate the teacher and helper and children. Volunteers usually end up teaching and making the lessons, and teachers occasionally help. they're nice to have around for translating because the kids don't know english. the volunteer who i was with at this school leaves today so after 2 days of watching her i'm on my own. teaching around 20 Hindi children English and math which they forget by the next day. I'm not going to get frustrated though. I keep being reminded by that still small voice inside "You are here to love". If they learn anything from me, i want them to learn that they are worth something-that they're a treasure. Their sweet smiles and their innocsence and their vivacity for life. AHHH!! who will watch over them? Who will keep little NaNa from prostititution? Who will rock Sopa to sleep? Who will help Pudja to learn things since she's always behind?
There is a bunch of information and ideas floating around in my head. I feel like i'm in a super intense world cultures class! There are so many issues that are tied up in customs and behaviors and traditions and yet it's still important that Indian heritage be preserved. Like prego women for example. Many muslim women beliee children are gifts, and so they have zero prevention. But all these children are born and they can't be provided for. At the same time that they want these women to take birth control and et abortions, they're trying to save their lies too. Like prego women here need tetnus shots because they have babies at home in insanitary conditions and the babies and mothers often die without it. 300 women die everyday in childbirth. If you bring abortions to india though, how would these women even afford it? that would bring in the ally-abortions then, causing more deaths. Condoms of course would be a good introduction here, but men ar very careless-i don't think they'd take the responsibility. So many things-the trash here (no public trashcans)...even the schools. bringing in english volunteers is great and all, but it means that the children are leanring about a country's seasons and customs that they don't beloing to. they need to survive HERE, first. ay yay yay. no more of this.
i'm leaving to pushkar this weekend to go to a camel festival so i won't be around until sunday. just wanted to warn you guys :) send me messages-i like to read about what's going on with you guys and what you think and alll that stuff! take care and God Bless!
Cassie
Monday, October 19, 2009
All ya Need is Love
Hey guys! Well, it is pretty sweet over here on this side of the world, i must admit. Although, i'd advise any visitors to stay away from the grss (it's full of burrs). I went into an empty lot to take pictures of some flowers and when i got back on the street, me and the others were COVERED in them. they were impossible! But today we went to a nature reserve that was so pretty! there were monkies, antelope, peacocks, goats, and lots of birds. The crickets sound like rattle snakes which was pretty scary at first. We hiked up a mountain there and saw all of Jaipur. That would be the second time this week i've hiked up a mountain-both times i didn't plan on it so i was wearing a dress and flip flops! figures. Don't underestimate a girl in a dress and flip flops :) No majjor mishaps, except i kind of freaked out when a giant ant fell on my head. No harm done though.
I went to the market the other day and it was so busy and chaotic and awesome! Everyone tries to get you to buy their stuff and children hover around, asking for money. Indian music is blaring and you smell all sorts of foods and garbage and urine (men pee wherever they please). I took lots of pictures, but i can't add them from this computer and mine can't get internet just yet.
A friend here gave me a chunk of his sugarcane stalk which was delish. I felt pretty native chewing on a piece of sugarcane. Also i like all the Indian commercials haha. they have a cream to lighten skin tones, which i thought was interesting since girls back home buy tinted lotion to darken theirs! Other funny ones are a dad telling his son that his mom is prego (even though you'd think he'd notice since she looks 8 mths along!) and a girl 'seductively' dancing in the rain in her sari, advertising deoderant :)
We eat pretty much the same stuff every day-rice, veggies, and chopatti (all different pita-like breads). Today we went to this place called "the dairy" which is just what it says. It's next door to the place where they milk the cows. You go to different windows to get "softies", kulfi, hard icecream in a cup, some wierd drink, milk, or milk shakes. These things are all a bit different from what you'd get in the states, but good none the less :) Also there are these addictive pretzel-like things caled jubati-crispy twists covered in sugary syrup stuff. those things are the bomb...between those and Maaza, a mango nectar drink, i think i can deal with the veggies and rice :)
I feel like i'm starting to understand love. true love. The love of God. It's a bit different and feels different from what i thought love was before. it's more relaxed and inclusive. it's like a presence-it's everywhere. it coveres everything-enemies, friends and family, the lost, the hurt, the broken, children and old people, mean people, nice people. it's unescapable. Not sure how to describe it. I always liked what Paul had to say about the love of Christ in the new testament, but now i feel like a light turned on-i don't just like the sound but i UNDERSTAND it. I feel it all around me and don't know how anyone could ever not feel it. and it makes God's existance so undoubtedly true too. He's just so GREAT! :) well, that's all my ranting for the day
love you guys! Have peace and know that you are ALWAYS loved, whther you want to be or not. :)
Cassie
I went to the market the other day and it was so busy and chaotic and awesome! Everyone tries to get you to buy their stuff and children hover around, asking for money. Indian music is blaring and you smell all sorts of foods and garbage and urine (men pee wherever they please). I took lots of pictures, but i can't add them from this computer and mine can't get internet just yet.
A friend here gave me a chunk of his sugarcane stalk which was delish. I felt pretty native chewing on a piece of sugarcane. Also i like all the Indian commercials haha. they have a cream to lighten skin tones, which i thought was interesting since girls back home buy tinted lotion to darken theirs! Other funny ones are a dad telling his son that his mom is prego (even though you'd think he'd notice since she looks 8 mths along!) and a girl 'seductively' dancing in the rain in her sari, advertising deoderant :)
We eat pretty much the same stuff every day-rice, veggies, and chopatti (all different pita-like breads). Today we went to this place called "the dairy" which is just what it says. It's next door to the place where they milk the cows. You go to different windows to get "softies", kulfi, hard icecream in a cup, some wierd drink, milk, or milk shakes. These things are all a bit different from what you'd get in the states, but good none the less :) Also there are these addictive pretzel-like things caled jubati-crispy twists covered in sugary syrup stuff. those things are the bomb...between those and Maaza, a mango nectar drink, i think i can deal with the veggies and rice :)
I feel like i'm starting to understand love. true love. The love of God. It's a bit different and feels different from what i thought love was before. it's more relaxed and inclusive. it's like a presence-it's everywhere. it coveres everything-enemies, friends and family, the lost, the hurt, the broken, children and old people, mean people, nice people. it's unescapable. Not sure how to describe it. I always liked what Paul had to say about the love of Christ in the new testament, but now i feel like a light turned on-i don't just like the sound but i UNDERSTAND it. I feel it all around me and don't know how anyone could ever not feel it. and it makes God's existance so undoubtedly true too. He's just so GREAT! :) well, that's all my ranting for the day
love you guys! Have peace and know that you are ALWAYS loved, whther you want to be or not. :)
Cassie
Friday, October 16, 2009
I'm Here!
Hello everyone,
Wow! have i only been gone a couple days? it feels like a few weeks! I got here yesterday morning and slept most of yesterday. I had culture shock and jetlag and yea...i'd rather not talk about it. Today is a new day though-i just took a shower (no heated water) which was nice and refreshing :) There are a lot of other people at the volunteer house-prolly around 12-16. I share my room with 3 other girls.
I don't know what else to say...this city is hot but not too bad. It's mostly all different shades of brown. There are cows and dogs everywhere, and i saw a couple camels on the road yesterday. I haven't taken a single picture, but there's time enough for that. It's very loud here, especially on the streets. The rickshaws (toot toots) honk and drive with abandon :) it's pretty wild.
My mind has been stripped of everything except a few Bible verses and prayers. To be honest with you all, i miss you terribly. I miss being around people who love me. But i need to focus on being here. There is no use in my going to India if i focus on how much i miss everyone. It's all about where i'm focused.
Mom, i don't know if you check this blog but if not, i'm sure Non will tell you. I cannot use skype here at the house-the internet is here (im on it) but not very reliable and there's no microphone on the community computer. i can only use my laptop at a cafe, but i don't have very many rupees because we're in the middle of a festival and i can't change over my money for a couple days. Also, they don't sell cell phones to foreigners. There is a phone here however that can only recieve calls which you can call to get ahold of me. The number is 001 91 141 272 3174. I'm going to the market to look around (and try to stay awake instead of hiding away in bed all day) but i think mabe i'll be back by 4 my time? Try to call then. Maybe 5. Sorry i don't know exactly! We'll figure out a schedule. I'm sorry i didn't talk long yesterday but i felt really sick and i was homesick on top of that so i didn't want to make it worse by talking. Well, i better get going. I love you all and miss you! Don't be too worried about me-God is with me wherever i go. He will never leave me nor forsake me. (thanks Trudy!) I can't believe God thinks i am strong enough for this. I had no idea. But well, I'm here now so I'm just going to have to take His word for it :)
Love, Cassie
Wow! have i only been gone a couple days? it feels like a few weeks! I got here yesterday morning and slept most of yesterday. I had culture shock and jetlag and yea...i'd rather not talk about it. Today is a new day though-i just took a shower (no heated water) which was nice and refreshing :) There are a lot of other people at the volunteer house-prolly around 12-16. I share my room with 3 other girls.
I don't know what else to say...this city is hot but not too bad. It's mostly all different shades of brown. There are cows and dogs everywhere, and i saw a couple camels on the road yesterday. I haven't taken a single picture, but there's time enough for that. It's very loud here, especially on the streets. The rickshaws (toot toots) honk and drive with abandon :) it's pretty wild.
My mind has been stripped of everything except a few Bible verses and prayers. To be honest with you all, i miss you terribly. I miss being around people who love me. But i need to focus on being here. There is no use in my going to India if i focus on how much i miss everyone. It's all about where i'm focused.
Mom, i don't know if you check this blog but if not, i'm sure Non will tell you. I cannot use skype here at the house-the internet is here (im on it) but not very reliable and there's no microphone on the community computer. i can only use my laptop at a cafe, but i don't have very many rupees because we're in the middle of a festival and i can't change over my money for a couple days. Also, they don't sell cell phones to foreigners. There is a phone here however that can only recieve calls which you can call to get ahold of me. The number is 001 91 141 272 3174. I'm going to the market to look around (and try to stay awake instead of hiding away in bed all day) but i think mabe i'll be back by 4 my time? Try to call then. Maybe 5. Sorry i don't know exactly! We'll figure out a schedule. I'm sorry i didn't talk long yesterday but i felt really sick and i was homesick on top of that so i didn't want to make it worse by talking. Well, i better get going. I love you all and miss you! Don't be too worried about me-God is with me wherever i go. He will never leave me nor forsake me. (thanks Trudy!) I can't believe God thinks i am strong enough for this. I had no idea. But well, I'm here now so I'm just going to have to take His word for it :)
Love, Cassie
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
We Die to Live
Hey Everybody! Tomorrow is the big day. I leave for O'Hare in the morning and fly out at 4 p.m. on Wednesday. At 9 p.m. Thursday, i will reach New Delhi, India and then i have a 9 hour layover. At 6 a.m. Friday morning I get on a little plane that will take me to Jaipur, India. And then i will finally be there! :) I have just about everything i need, and i think i'll get around to packing sometime today...
Everyone asks me what I'm feeling at this point. Excited? Nervous? A little doubtful? I can't really explain what i feel...not any particular emotion. I mostly feel focused. I know what I am doing and I know it's the right thing. It's like i have tunnel vision or something-all i see is India and all i feel is God by my side. I have absolutely, 100% NO doubts about what i am doing. I know with complete certainty that this is God's plan-that He wants me to go with Him. This is a huge relief-I don't feel any fear because no matter what happens, i know that i am supposed to go. There are no if's or but's. I went out on a limb here, trusting God to meet me halfway, and He is. I feel very satisfied and grounded, like when you know you made it to the right place at the right time.
One of my favorite illustrations Jesus made is in John 12, about wheat. A grain of wheat is alone unless it falls to the ground and dies. By dying, it comes alive again and multiplies. It's mostly about Jesus Himself, but when i read this i am reminded that in order to really live, I have to "die". i can't keep my life on earth all to myself-i have to give it up to God in order for Him to use me. If I keep everything I have to myself-if I make decisions based on what I want instead of what God wants, I won't grow to anywhere near my potential.
I have been given eternal life, which is not so much about quantity of years but the quality of my years. I don't want to waste that. I am not a Christian so that i can go to heaven; I am a Christian so that i can live a life full of meaning and help others live a life of meaning also. I want to become fully formed in Christ-and by doggedly following Him no matter the cost, i can become like Him a little more each day. God has a LIFE plan for each and every one of us that will fit us perfectly. If only we surrender our lives-then we can truly live.
The Kingdom of God is HERE. It doesn't start when we die and go to heaven-we are apart of the Kingdom of God the moment we're saved. And we are the only hope there is for bringing others into the Kingdom. Jesus already came and died and set everything up. If we don't say anything about the reason for the peace within us, NO ONE WILL. If we don't share our faith, NO ONE WILL. We are God's plan for bringing home lost sheep.
I hope that you are all listening to God for what His plan is for your life. But remember that everyday, you are where you are for a reason. Whether it is to give or recieve encouragement, pray that God will show you what He wants you to do each day. For me it's been hard to remember that. In all the excitement of leaving the country, i have had to constantly remind myself that i haven't left yet. God uses me here too. I should be just as active in my beliefs here as i will be in India.
Well, that was a bit heavier than i expected to be today, but there it is :) I would ask that you guys pray for my family. I know it's hard for them to let me go, and they need peace. Thank you once again for everything you guys have done to help me out! We are all a community together-I can't stand alone.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)
Go and be Blessed :)
Love, Cassie
Everyone asks me what I'm feeling at this point. Excited? Nervous? A little doubtful? I can't really explain what i feel...not any particular emotion. I mostly feel focused. I know what I am doing and I know it's the right thing. It's like i have tunnel vision or something-all i see is India and all i feel is God by my side. I have absolutely, 100% NO doubts about what i am doing. I know with complete certainty that this is God's plan-that He wants me to go with Him. This is a huge relief-I don't feel any fear because no matter what happens, i know that i am supposed to go. There are no if's or but's. I went out on a limb here, trusting God to meet me halfway, and He is. I feel very satisfied and grounded, like when you know you made it to the right place at the right time.
One of my favorite illustrations Jesus made is in John 12, about wheat. A grain of wheat is alone unless it falls to the ground and dies. By dying, it comes alive again and multiplies. It's mostly about Jesus Himself, but when i read this i am reminded that in order to really live, I have to "die". i can't keep my life on earth all to myself-i have to give it up to God in order for Him to use me. If I keep everything I have to myself-if I make decisions based on what I want instead of what God wants, I won't grow to anywhere near my potential.
I have been given eternal life, which is not so much about quantity of years but the quality of my years. I don't want to waste that. I am not a Christian so that i can go to heaven; I am a Christian so that i can live a life full of meaning and help others live a life of meaning also. I want to become fully formed in Christ-and by doggedly following Him no matter the cost, i can become like Him a little more each day. God has a LIFE plan for each and every one of us that will fit us perfectly. If only we surrender our lives-then we can truly live.
The Kingdom of God is HERE. It doesn't start when we die and go to heaven-we are apart of the Kingdom of God the moment we're saved. And we are the only hope there is for bringing others into the Kingdom. Jesus already came and died and set everything up. If we don't say anything about the reason for the peace within us, NO ONE WILL. If we don't share our faith, NO ONE WILL. We are God's plan for bringing home lost sheep.
I hope that you are all listening to God for what His plan is for your life. But remember that everyday, you are where you are for a reason. Whether it is to give or recieve encouragement, pray that God will show you what He wants you to do each day. For me it's been hard to remember that. In all the excitement of leaving the country, i have had to constantly remind myself that i haven't left yet. God uses me here too. I should be just as active in my beliefs here as i will be in India.
Well, that was a bit heavier than i expected to be today, but there it is :) I would ask that you guys pray for my family. I know it's hard for them to let me go, and they need peace. Thank you once again for everything you guys have done to help me out! We are all a community together-I can't stand alone.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)
Go and be Blessed :)
Love, Cassie
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